Why indian couples need more romance (it's not what you think)

Why romance isn't just for dating – it's essential for married couples too

Ever scroll through Instagram and see those "couple goals" posts? The candlelit dinners, surprise getaways, love notes hidden in lunch boxes. And then you look at your own relationship and wonder... where did the romance go? If you're thinking romance is just for the movies or for "newlyweds," think again, bae. Keeping that spark alive isn't about grand, expensive gestures; it's about consistent, small acts of affection that keep your connection strong, especially in the unique context of Indian relationships.

We're here to tell you why romance isn't just a "nice-to-have" but a "must-have" for a thriving, long-term partnership. Many couples, especially after years together or marriage, start to think romance is unnecessary. They might believe that once you're committed, practicality takes over, and those mushy feelings are for the early days. But here's the thing: emotional intimacy and feeling desired are fundamental human needs that don't just vanish. In fact, a US survey revealed that 40% of respondents stated romance is essential in relationships because they cannot feel love without it, highlighting its crucial role in emotional connection.

Think of romance as the fuel that keeps your relationship engine purring. Without it, things can start to feel routine, distant, or even a bit dull. It's the little reminders that you're not just roommates or co-parents, but partners who are deeply in love. Research published in PMC highlights that high levels of commitment and intimacy are positively associated with overall well-being. So, keeping the romance alive isn't just good for your relationship; it's good for you and your partner's individual happiness too!

Neglecting romance can lead to a sense of disconnect, even when you're physically together. It can make you feel like you're just going through the motions, missing that deeper emotional bond that brought you together in the first place. So, let's ditch the idea that romance is frivolous and embrace it as a vital ingredient for a happy, lasting Indian relationship.

Romance in indian relationships vs western stereotypes

In India, our idea of romance can be a bit... complicated. On one hand, we grew up watching Bollywood blockbusters filled with dramatic declarations of love, rain dances, and grand gestures that sweep you off your feet. On the other hand, real life often pushes us towards practicality, family responsibilities, and a more understated approach to emotional expression. It's a classic case of "reel life vs. real life," right?

Often, romance is seen as a "Western" concept, something frivolous or even embarrassing once you're past the dating stage. We might feel awkward expressing affection openly, especially in joint families or public spaces. The focus shifts to providing, caring for the family, and fulfilling duties. While these are incredibly important aspects of an Indian relationship, they shouldn't completely overshadow emotional connection and romantic gestures. It's about finding a balance that honors both tradition and personal connection.

The unrealistic romance expectations Bollywood sets can sometimes make us feel like our own relationships are lacking if they don't involve a flash mob or a dramatic chase scene. If you've ever wondered if your relationship is missing that movie magic, you might want to check out our blog on how Bollywood has shaped our unrealistic expectations about romance. It's a good reminder that real love is often quieter, deeper, and more personal, and definitely doesn't require a film crew.

The truth is, romance in Indian relationships isn't about copying Western ideals; it's about finding what works for you as a couple within your cultural context. It's about showing love in ways that feel authentic and meaningful, even if they're subtle. According to Ipsos Global Advisor 2024, 76% of urban Indians report being satisfied with their romantic and sex life, topping global surveys. This shows that Indian couples are finding their own ways to keep the spark alive, proving that romance thrives when it's authentic to your unique vibe!

Small romantic gestures that actually work for indian couples

So, if it's not about hiring a flash mob, what does count as romance in an Indian relationship? It's all about the little things, the everyday acts of love that say, "I see you, I appreciate you, and you're still my favourite person." These gestures are often more impactful because they fit seamlessly into daily life and show genuine thought, rather than being a performance.

Here are a few ideas that resonate well within the Indian cultural context, proving that thoughtfulness often trumps extravagance:

• Surprise chai or coffee: Imagine your partner bringing you a hot cup of chai or coffee exactly how you like it, without you even asking. It's a small act, but it speaks volumes about their attentiveness and care. It says, "I remember your preferences, and I want to make your day a little better."
• Cooking their favourite meal: After a long day, nothing says "I love you" quite like a home-cooked meal, especially if it's their absolute favourite dish. It shows you remember their preferences and are willing to put in the effort. Think of it as a delicious, edible love letter.
• Thoughtful voice notes or texts: A quick voice note during a busy workday saying "Missing you, bae" or a text reminding them of an inside joke can instantly brighten their day and make them feel connected, even when you're apart. These digital hugs keep the emotional thread strong.
• Remembering small details: Did they mention a specific snack they craved? Pick it up on your way home. Did they have a tough day? Offer a gentle head massage or simply listen without judgment. These small acts show you listen and care, making them feel truly seen.

The challenge for many couples is figuring out what their partner actually finds romantic. Sometimes, what you think is romantic might not be what makes their heart flutter. Some couples are discovering each other's preferences through fun quizzes and games—way less awkward than sitting down for a serious 'romance talk,' right? If you're looking for a fun way to test this, BaeDrop's quizzes are surprisingly revealing and can help you understand your partner's unique love language without any pressure.

Keeping romance alive when life gets busy

Let's be real: life in India can be hectic. Between demanding careers, family obligations, social commitments, and sometimes even managing a joint family setup, finding time for romance can feel like another item on an already overflowing to-do list. But here's the secret: you don't need hours; you just need intention. Prioritizing your relationship, even in small ways, can make all the difference. After all, 53% of Indians consider their relationship with their partner as their greatest source of happiness, making it worth the effort!

The key is to integrate small moments of connection into your daily routine rather than waiting for a grand occasion. Think quality over quantity. Even 15-20 minutes of dedicated, distraction-free time can make a huge difference. Here's how busy couples keep the spark alive, even when their schedules are packed:

• Scheduled "us" time: It might sound unromantic to schedule it, but a dedicated "date night in" once a week, or even a daily 15-minute chat over chai, ensures you connect. Couples who engage in activities together like date nights and workouts report 87% happiness growth. This dedicated time signals to your partner that they are a priority.
• Morning rituals: A quick hug, a shared laugh over breakfast, or simply asking "What's one thing you're looking forward to today?" before you both rush off can set a positive tone for the entire day. It's a micro-moment of connection that builds up over time.
• Digital check-ins: Beyond practical messages, send a funny meme, a sweet emoji, or a "thinking of you" text during the day. It's a small way to say, "You're on my mind," and keeps the emotional connection humming, even when you're physically apart.
• Weekend adventures (big or small): Even if it's just a walk in the park, a visit to a local market, or trying a new street food stall together, shared experiences create memories and strengthen bonds. These don't have to be elaborate trips; simple, shared moments can be incredibly romantic.

Remember, romance isn't about having endless free time; it's about making your partner a priority within the time you do have. It's about showing up consistently, even when life is throwing its toughest challenges your way. These consistent efforts are what build a resilient and loving partnership.

Fun ways to discover your partner's love language

One of the biggest hurdles to keeping romance alive is often not knowing what truly makes your partner feel loved. We tend to show love in the way we want to receive it, which can sometimes miss the mark for our partner. This is where understanding their "love language" comes in handy. It's not about grand gestures, but about speaking their specific language of affection, making your efforts truly count.

But how do you figure that out without an awkward "What's your love language?" conversation? Here are some fun, low-pressure ways to uncover those romantic preferences:

• Observation is key: Pay attention to what your partner complains about (e.g., "You never help me with chores" might mean they value acts of service) or what they do for you (e.g., if they constantly give you gifts, that might be their love language). Their actions and reactions often speak louder than words.
• Playful quizzes: There are tons of online quizzes (like the classic 5 Love Languages quiz) that you can take together. Make it a fun date night activity, then discuss your results. It's a great conversation starter without the pressure, turning self-discovery into a shared experience.
• "Would you rather?" games: Create your own romantic "would you rather" questions. "Would you rather get a surprise gift or spend an hour talking about our day?" Their answers will give you clues into their priorities and what makes them feel cherished.
• Reflect on past moments: Think about times your partner felt most loved or appreciated. What was happening? What did you do or say? Those moments are goldmines for understanding their preferences, giving you a blueprint for future romantic gestures.

Understanding what truly resonates with your partner allows you to tailor your romantic gestures for maximum impact. It moves beyond generic acts to deeply personal expressions of love, ensuring your efforts are always well-received. This kind of authentic connection is what true couple goals are made of, going far beyond Instagram perfection and into the realm of genuine, lasting happiness.

Conclusion: embrace romance, your way

Romance isn't a luxury; it's a necessity for a vibrant, lasting relationship, especially for young Indian couples navigating modern life. It's not about mimicking Bollywood or Western ideals, but about finding authentic ways to show affection that resonate with both of you. From a surprise cup of chai to a heartfelt voice note, these small, consistent gestures build emotional intimacy and keep your connection strong.

Prioritizing romance means actively choosing to nurture your bond, even amidst the chaos of daily life. It means understanding your partner's unique preferences and speaking their love language. So, ditch the idea that romance fades after marriage or is "too much." Embrace it, make it your own, and watch your relationship flourish into something truly special and deeply connected.